Risk=Reward

Back in college I prided myself on taking risks.  Taking risks in terms of relationships and people.  Stretching myself out of my comfort zone so that others knew that I cared.  I joined the PDS program so that I would put myself in uncomfortable positions in terms of race and class.  I went to sporting events, club meeting and baptist churches.  I remember feeling uncomfortable and like I stood out, but being so grateful that I had gone.

Fast forward 3 years.  I am immersed daily in black culture and love every part of it.  I love the loud, boisterous, family pride and loyalty.  Sure there are frustrations, but I want to be drenched in it.  I've gone to birthday parties, tball games and plays.  Seeing kids and families outside of school has given me an understanding of who they are and a sense of trust with the families.

This year I haven't gotten to know the parents quite as well.  I hadn't yet seen a child shine outside of school.  A student from last year sings in his church choir.  His dad had mentioned this a couple times and I had never really followed through on it.  I knew he sang on the 3rd Sunday and this Sunday was the 3rd Sunday.  I tried calling to find out the time and place, but never got a call back.  So I decided to call the church.  The lady asked who I was and upon finding out seemed excited that I was coming.  I figured the church must be pretty small.  Since I had told the boy I was coming and now the secretary I knew I couldn't back down on my word.

I was nervous.  Like really nervous.  I knew I would probably be the only white person.  So I asked Brittany to come with me.  While I want her to be at church and have that relationship with God I also wanted to feel more comfortable.  Selfish I know.  

We walked up to the church and luckily I saw the boys dad right when we came in.  He invited us to sit up front with him.  The boy from my class saw me and was excited.  I also saw 3 other kids from my school!  They asked visitors to stand and then had a little "say hello" time.  The kids came over and all gave me hugs.  They seemed so happy that I was there. My little favorites sister sings in the choir.  She looked so stoic and beautiful.  She gave me a hug and said "You actually came".  She told me that he was at home, which I was disappointed about.  The service was amazing.  There was singing, dancing and preaching.  But above all there was passion and devotion to the Lord.

I learned so much in my 2 hours there.  I learned that these kids really do have God and get it.  So often I think their lives are hard, and they might be, but they have a great church family.  I also understand why it is so difficult at school sometimes.  The rules are so different.  The game is different.  Church is loud, call and response, clapping, dancing.  School is quiet, raise your hand, sit still and listen.

I am so glad God gave me the courage to go.  I thought about backing out because I felt uncomfortable.  But this discomfort produced great reward.  My heart was filled with so much joy.  Everytime I made eye contact with one of the kids and smiled my heart was overflowing.